The past few days..

Well, I’m sorry if some of you might be coming over to this site almost everyday, seeing no updates. Haha. Well you see, yours truly have been well busy, with much things happening around, that he tends to run out of ideas and in no right mood to blog. But fret not I guess, 2008 is coming, so a brand new start. Yay.

Hah. Talking bout 2008, what’s up with the announcement on top of this entry regarding new years’ day? Well, you just have to wait for that too.. Ouh come on.. It’s just a mere four days to go.. I’m sure noone will kinda care abt it.. but for those who cares, thank you I appreciate it much.. but you still have to wait for new year. Smiles. All I can say is that it’s gonna be something cute, something.. that will make you go ala Lil Miss Paris, “That’s hawt”. And it’s something awesomely fantabulous. I just love that word, fantabulous.

Well anyway how’s Christmas to all? It would be a holiday break for those who doesn’t celebrate, and the time of giving for those who celebrate. Haha. Tell me about it, those who strongly objects to celebrating it cuz ur race doesn’t need you to celebrate Christmas. Well in my opinion, when we’re celebrating it, it’s not as if we’re celebrating Christmas in a religious way, we’re just soaking in the atmosphere, the joy of giving, the joy of being with your friends, enjoying each others’ company.

Talking about Christmas, I really do miss last year’s Christmas party; World Peace 06 organised by a bunch of frens and I. With little budget, we secured a place, turned it all homely and christmas-ey, and enjoy the party with strangers that became our friends. Hah.

Gone are the Days…

Of course, it’s cliche to say that everyone changes. And along the way, we meet new friends, we dropped the old ones off. I felt kind of disappointed when I recently bumped onto an old friend of mine. I mean like, we used to talk alot, even go out in a lil group of ours, and that was just a mere few years back. Okay so I did not see him the moment I stepped into the fast food restaurant, cuz apparently my stomach’s growling more than I could bother looking at people around me. While waiting for my food, I then looked around, ya know, just looking around for eyecandies.. Haha.. Until I saw him. Initially I was resisting cuz he kinda looked different, well different from the last time I met him. And I don’t dare calling out his name cuz I risk being embarrassed if he’s the wrong person.

And so I called him on the mobile, and noone picked up. I thought he was the wrong person, then he dug up something from his bag, look at his mobile, and look up. Well prolly he’ve seen me when I entered the restaurant. Of cuz he would have seen me, cuz the place was quite empty. At least making eye contact instead of shouting out my name would attract less attention. But I can somehow feel that he’s trying his very best to avoid having any eye contact with me. And when I approached him, gawd I thought we can talk longer, but I kinda feel that he exudes this aura of “I dont feel comfortable talking to u right now, I’m fidgeting, and not talking much, and waiting for this conversation to stop”.

So I kinda get that body language of his, and I went on with my friend to grab our bite. It was an awkward moment.

And a few nights’ back, I was having a jog with Clar, around the neighbourhood. We were jogging, and from far, I see this silhouette of two humans walking towards us. It was in the park, and most of the lights were off by then. And as we got nearer, I can see that it’s him again. I wanted to call out his name, but, we just walked past each other. And that’s when Clar turned to me and ask if that’s him. Come on, see, if both of us can recognise who just walked past us, I’m sure he saw us.

I don’t really know the reason behind it. It’s either I’m being too paranoid. Or something, along the way, happened. Or he wasn’t being comfortable. But never mind. It’s no big a deal.

Well people always change yeah. I long for the four of us to meet up again soon. It’s that simple walk around town, or a dinner together. But it seem now that we’re attached to either our loved ones or work commitments, that we kinda shut our life off with others.

Of Emptiness and Solitude.

Well the past few days have been very well shitty. I do feel that certain amount of guilt for not spending time with the family and treating home like its a hotel but things have to be done, shits have to cleared and it needs to be out on time. And to top it all off, the family had to go to Melacca over the weekends to attend a relative’s wedding ceremony, leaving the house all to myself.

And it’s at this time that I do realise, family plays an important part in your life. No matter how naggy moms can be, or how stern dad can be, you just don’t feel the same way without them. I have ever thought of living by myself once I reach a certain age, to try to be independent but come to think of it, now’s never the time. I don’t know. I think we are just brought up in a way that, we will still stay together with our parents until we’re married, and sometimes even so, we still live together with the parents. It’s unlike the other end of the globe, in which parents do want their teenage child to be independent, and be living by themselves.

I do admire some of my friends or people that I know, who’s studying overseas, knowing only just one or two friends over there, and gonna be staying there throughout their course of study. Ok well maybe it takes time for you to adapt to the new environment, but nonetheless, it’s still hard to break out of that comfort zone you’ve been living for all your years. And what about those festive occasions? You’re stuck in another man’s land, away from your family, and the only form of communication between you and your loved ones is skype-ing.

Hah, and so I’m typing here while lying on my bed, all alone in the house. Finally, I’m able to catch my breathe. I need just this short lil break, and I’m fine, hopefully. It’s just a few more months left before I bid farewell to polytechnic life. The three years of an eye-opener, broadening my knowledge and not regretting choosing the polytechnic path instead of the jc one. I do remember vividly the amount of lecture, talks and nagging I got from my secondary school teacher telling me to focus on my studies and not to let the name of the school down, yada yada. But hey, I’m not much of a failure like you think I would be now, am I?

When things got chaotic.

Please tell me what’s exciting about animating. I would wana be the mass audience who will just watch the animation and then give tons of criticism suggesting how horrendous it is instead of painstakingly animating blocks of polygons. See, that’s the thing about movies and animations. Common people think it’s so easy cuz hey, it’s easy to just watch a movie. But behind those good movies, are creative people writing the script, directing the film, applying computer graphics to the clip, modeling a 3D character, and all the blah3.

I don’t know but in a way or another, I learnt to appreciate going to the cinemas catching movies instead of going across the causeway buying those pirated low quality movies. Catching a movie is such a common pastime for all Singaporeans. If we can’t think of a plan, the last resort would always be “Let’s catch a movie”. It’s often a leisure thing.

I still remember when I started learning video. Catching a movie wasn’t like before. All the terminologies, like ECU, MS, LS, MCU to determine the shots come to mind. And whether the panning, transition is smooth enough and correct kind of shots were used to emphasise on the character’s emotion. We’ll get amazed when we see something that left us wondering, “How did they do that?” and commenting on the shots while watching the movies, which left people around us looking at us. Hah.

I’m dying to catch a movie. Or even a theatrical drama. I’ve been neglecting the arty fartiness in me. Sianness took over.

Urgh. Life’s a bitch.

No breaks. Just deadlines.

Like Secondary 4 is to O Levels and J2 is to A Levels,
Hakim is to FYP.

And though he wishes that life would be carefree and all things happy, reality is that life is harsh on you. So they said, “Time waits for no man”.

He therefore notify any avid readers (which prolly include members in his group who prolly keep watchful eyes *jeng jeng jeng*) that he’ll not be writing entries as frequent as when he was in ITP or during holidays. He will hopefully master the art of speaking Chinese so as to keep up with the society and contribute in any means possible in his areas of specialisation. For he live in a multi-racial country, regardless of language or religion, achieving happiness, prosperity and progress for each and everyone.

Backtrack.

Just an FYI, comments have been replied in the previous posts.

I had a good one-hour alone time at the river front next to Central last night. Ok, partly cuz I was waiting for dear Dave to knock off from work.

It’s just that sometimes, time past so fast and everything happened in a quick pace, you need some time to just take a backseat and reflect; of friends, work, school, your personal life et cetera.

As cliché as it may sound, friends do come and go. It seems like you’re doing fine with your friend and the next moment he/she starts to distant himself from you, or so you think. Just a little misunderstanding causes chaos. Bitch fits aplenty, diva-vaviour alike.

There’s stuff over my head, but this ain’t a good personal space to blurt about it.

Bergema Suara.

Suara takbir kedengaran daripada radio yang tersembunyi di ruang kamar. Allahuakbar, Allahuakbar, Allahuakbar. Alunannya yang tegas tetapi merdu teramat menenangkan. Tanpa ku sedari, airmata menitis membasahi pipiku. Dengan secara pintasnya aku cuba mengelap pipiku, mengharapkan tiada sesiapa yang melihat keadaan ku begini. Aku duduk seorang diri setelah menikmati juadah yang terhidang di lantai untuk jamuan saudara-mara sekeluarga. Ku merenung jauh…